Breastfeeding & me (part 2)

I was determined to breastfeed so I was heartbroken to decide to wean Lara early......

I had a couple of blockages towards the end of the 10th week. I'm sure those who have had blocked ducts would agree with me that the pain was excruciating. At one stage, I had 3/4 of one breast hard and blocked. Lara was usually fussy and reluctant to feed when there was a blockage. I would force her to feed (I want to get rid of the blockage!) and that would make her cry and make the whole feeding process very stressful. Some blockages were cleared by Lara, others by hired electric breast pump or "hand" pump . A combination of things (showering, massaging, changing feeding positions -Lara's chin facing the lumps) probably helped in clearing the lumps.

I seemed to have blocked milk ducts very often. To determine why so I could continue feeding, I had ultrasound, saw breast specialist, early childhood nurses, various GPs and spoke to ABA (Australian Breastfeeding Association) councillors and Tresillian and Karitane nurses for advise and treatment. I remembered having a bad blockage once and Lara couldn't get rid of it, so I was really worried that it would lead to mastitis again. I called all the numbers I could find at 2am including leaving messages in a few lactation consultatns' answering phones trying to get some help on what I should do. It was a very hard night, neither Simon nor I got any sleep.

Most people thought my blocked ducts was due to poor feeding techniques until they saw me feeding. I also had this condition called "white spots" on my nipples (some said it was caused by skin growing over the milk ducts) that some said can be removed by sterile needles. It was very painful believe me.

However, no one could tell me exactly how and why I got mastitis and blocked ducts often. Some peoople thought the mastitis was caused by blocked ducts, and blocked ducts caused by breasts not being drainined properly or oversupply. There was also another theory that I might have applied too mcuh pressure on it. (I was trying a different feeding position to clear a blockage on one breast and leaned on the other breast in the process. I had mastits on the breast I leaned on the day after. It was important not to apply pressure on breasts, so don't lean on them while sleeping and be careful of bras being too tight).

I would eventually have 3 bouts of matitis. I would finish the recommended 2 courses of antibiotics and the mastitis happened again so I had to start a fresh course of antibiotics. I was on antibiotics for about 6 weeks all together. The antibiotics affected my bowel movements. It also affected my milk supply and Lara's bowel movements. The third bout of mastitis was especially painful and I also had a fever. I nearly asked Simon to call an ambulance in the middle of the night becaue of the pain.

I finally decided to stop feeding during the 3rd bout of mastitis. I realised there was a way out to all these pain. And while I was not well, I simply couldn't be a good parent to Lara. The problem was I couldn't stop feeding while I had mastitis (as breast abscess could develop) so I had to try to wean very quickly afterwards becaues another round of mastits occurred. I ended up taking Chinese herbal medicine to dry up my milk so I could wean in a reasonably short time.

I really enjoyed breastfeeding when things were well and the thought of weaning made me very sad and tearful. It was a hard decision but one I had to make. I think I was so set on feeding Lara for longer that I lost sight about the bigger picture. Both Lara and I are so much happier that she's fully weaned.

This is my breastfeeding story.

Final Note:
Lara was fully breastfed for 3.5 months and weaned at 4 months. The last time I fed her was on the morning of Mother's Day 2007.