[Reminiscence] Lara's birth story(II)

We arrived at the hospital at around 5.30pm Thursday 11th of January. There was a lot of excitement in the taxi telling the driver we are going to the hospital to give birth! I heard that a few "famous" people gave birth in the same hospital, including Sarah Murdoch, so I had a lot of faith in the hospital and wasn't overly nervous about the whole thing. Also I reckoned that the sooner I got this part out of the way, the sooner I could have some sleep (how wrong was I)....
Read Lara's birth story part one here.
We were directed to a delivery suite and the midwife on duty ordered some sandwiches for us. We flipped through TV channels while we had dinner. (you can tell my contractions weren't very bad at this stage, can't you?) I was also put on a monitor to check contractions and the baby’s heartbeat. Contractions started to come more regularly after dinner and I had to breathe a little harder through them (still not too bad). I tried different positions and found it more comfortable to be on all fours but my wrists hurt from supporting my body. However when the midwife came back to examine me at 8.30pm, I was still only 3-4 cm dilated, pretty much the same as when I arrived at the hospital. So it was decided to break my water around 9pm.

I realised afterwards that there was a shift change around that time. We were told in prenatal class that water breaking's usually done during shift change so the midwife breaking your water is usually not the same midwife delivering you. "You won't trust the midwife who hurt you" was how Jeanine, a midwife explained this in class.

The midwife(who was about to break my water) saw that I had not have any form of pain relief suggested that I gave gas a try as "things will speed up after water's broke". (It was extremely tactful for the midwife not to say what she really meant "you'll need gas as I'm going to inflict great pain on you") "Gas" was a great friend to me during this and for the next 5 hours. It seemed that I had an 'out-of-body' experience when my water's broke. I felt I was somewhere else (probably just the effect of gas) and when I came back to it, I was surpruised to find myself crying and the midwife was saying how sorry she was to hurt me. The fact was I really didn't feel like crying. It was a very strange experience to suddenly realise you were crying but didn't know why.

The water felt very warm as it came out. I took a shower to wash away the water and blood. My obstetrician came to see me and there was a shift change as well. Jeanine, the midwife we had in the prenatal class was also my midwife for the night. It gave me a great comfort to see a familiar face.

Husband commented afterwards that it was very strange to have the obstetrician, midwife standing in the bathroom with him while I showered. I had the same feeling but couldn't cared less then. After all, they would all be present at the birth.

I guessed things indeed started to happen fast because I didn't remember much in the next 5 hours. I knew there was pain but I lost all sense of time. I was in a drunken and dream-like state. I felt that many hours had passed and I remembered thinking if my obstetrician arrived (he went home after checking on me at 9pm), that would mean the end was near, so I kept asking for him. (Husband said afterwards that I started to ask for my obstetrician at 10pm....) I also had the feeling that I couldn't pull through and that I was going to die. I recognised later this (dying feeling) was what they called the "transition phase". It was the shortest phase but the most intense before the second stage of labour (ie pushing).

I was asked whether I wanted epidural early on (anaesthetist 'happened' to be in the next ward). As the contractions weren't very bad, I wanted to wait and see. I was not against the use of epidural. I heard/read some wonderful stories about it as well as the risks associated with it. I wanted minimal medical intervention but if I really required an epidural, I would have no problem asking for one. It just never entered my mind during labour.

They took the gas off me during the pushing stage. According to the labour record, I was ready to push at 2am and Lara was born at around 3am. The birth record also showed that placenta was delivered 4 minutes later, which I didn't know about. Again, I lost all sense of time. The only thing I remembered was pushing was a lot harder than I thought and I felt really exhausted. I also remembered getting different instructions from Jeanine and obstetrician on how to push. At one stage, I just wanted to shout "I don't want to do this anymore, just get her out". I think husband was trying to direct me towards following the midwife, who had 2 kids of her own rather than the obstetrician. I also remembered my obstetrician spent a long time stitching me up. Lara was born a healthy 4 kilos. Her Apgar scores were a excellent 9 and 10.

Husband told me later that after very little progress was made, both Jeanine and obstetrician tried to encourage me to continue pushing. Jeanine would say things like "you are doing very well" and obstetrician (being a man who never pushed a baby out in his life) would use scary tactics such as "we’ll have to use forceps if you can't push the baby out".

I read a few birth stories prior to Lara's birth. The more I read, the more nervous I got becuase you tend to hear more about the bad stories. Every birthing experience is different and nothing really prepares you for it. I think you just have to tell yourself that babies are born every day and women do this all the time so you'll be fine at the end of the day. Giving birth was an empowering experience as I discovered strength I didn't know I had. I was very grateful that things panned out this way and Lara and I were both fine at the end. End of birth just marks the beginning of motherhood and I know the road ahead is long and full of other surprises!