Mastitis Friday

Last Friday didn't start well. I woke up with a sore right breast and felt very tired. Having had a very busy week and tried to clear a stubborn breast lump that kept coming back, I didn't think too much of it and went about my day absent-mindedly. After Lara's swimming class, Mother-in-law and I went grocery shopping with the kids. We stopped for a coffee first. During coffee, Lara cried and complained about stomach-ache but wouldn't go to the toilet. She wanted to have her nappy on but I didn't have any with me. I spent a long time with her in the toilet, at the end Lara got quite distressed and still wouldn't poo and Sam woke up crying and needing a feed, so we decided to go home. There we were back at home at noon without food.

I felt cold and shivery after we got home and the breast was sorer than earlier. Trying not to think of the worst, I took my temperature regularly and checked to see if any red patches appeared. I detected a temperature and it rose quickly before 2pm. Luckily I managed to see a doctor at 5pm. I had to wait for an hour for the appointment but I knew I had to get antibiotics in quickly. Doctor confirmed my worst fear (mastitis) even though I had no lumps in the sore breast at that time and no red patches. But I knew that excruciating pain when Sam latched on as I experienced it before. I started antibiotics straight away, even though still having a slight temperature the next day, felt much better.

I kept going back over the events prior to Friday to try to determine the reason I got mastitis this time. Was it the needle and nail file I used on my nipple to try to break the skin(that grew over the milk duct) that caused the lump? A busy week definitely worsened the situation. I felt emotional and sad and didn't know how long I could continue to feed. I felt helpless too and don't know what I should do to not have mastitis. I've been tying so hard to clear various lumps present during the past two months, there must be over 20 of them! I thought no lumps meant no mastitis but at the end I still got it. History is repeating itself and I don't know how to stop it.

After a weekend of thinking and reflecting, I realised when I put things into perspective, I stop feeling sad. Sam is happy and healthy, he will thrive whether he is on breast milk or not. I have done the best I can for him so I should be happy whatever happens next.

Just when you think everything is goind well, a bad day like this can happen and throws you out of balance. These bad days are parts and parcels of being a parent I guess. I'm just glad that the bad days are outnumbered by the good!