Off the breasts

It has been a month and a half now since I last had mastitis. I know I said I would stop breastfeeding but because I didn't have any problem after I finished the two courses of antibiotics, I was not seriously pursuing this 'weanin'g business... (only topup with formula from time to time) until NOW. I spent half of Friday trying to clear a lump on the right breast, thought that was it and then spent all of Saturday trying to clear a hard lump on the left breast due to blockage. At one stage, 3/4 of the breast was rock hard. I tried needle and several showers but nothing seemed to work. Sam was crying and wouldn't suck. Lara was crying and didn't want to poo in the toilet. I was crying because the breast hurt. Simon made dinner and dared not mention the fact that I spoke about weaning weeks ago. The blockage was finally cleared (by forcing a crying Sam to suck) just after midnight (early this morning).

I do not know why I kept doing this to myself! I should have weaned quickly while the time was good. I replaced a whole feed with formula this afternoon and am now focusing on getting Sam off the breasts before any more painful episode re-occur. I re-read the breastfeeding story I wrote in May 2007, though I can't help feeling I failed 'breastfeeding' again, I know it is the right thing to do.

ps I moved 2 posts of breastfeeding stories from another site to remind myself to delay no further. Unfortunately I can not locate the pictures now.

pps No wonder I had mastitis three times with Lara. I know more about my breasts and how to handle blocked ducts/lumps this time compared with last time. Breast-feeding is still the hardest aspect of parenting for me with what I know.