Tiger mother

I just finished an interesting book called 'Battle hymn of the tiger mother' by Amy Chua. I reserved this book for $2 from our local libray about 2 months ago and got it last Tuesday but only had two weeks to read it because there were other people waiting to read the book. I wasted no time and started straight away, and as it turned out, I finished the book in 3 days.

This book was supposed to be about how a "Chinese" mother(also a Yale law professor) raised her kids, the main focus being her daughters' music education (piano & violin). The are a lot of stereotypes in the book, which I found hilirious. Maybe I can relate to the stories because I remembered growing up wishing I had a 'tiger mum' sometimes (Mum used to tell me not to study too hard!). I admire Chua's perseverance towards her daughter's music learnings even if I wouldn't do what she did under the same circumstances.

Education theories of today advocate freedom and let kids be kids. To a large extent, this is also what I adopt. But does that mean the parents should do nothing and let their kids decide and do whatever they want? Parents are so scared of discipline their kids these days(me too) for various reasons - worried they'll hurt their kids feelings, kill their imaginations or cause some sort of psychological damages. I feel the kids of today are not as strong and can't take as much as the kids of yesterday. This book challenged me to think more about what I do as a parent, not just follow the latest theories or what everyone else is doing.

The 'birthday card' incident in the book resonated with me the most. As a parent, I do want my kids to try their best whatever they do. Let's face it all kids (us included) have the tendency to do less if you let them(or yourself). I had a first-hand experience about this. Lara used to get very frustrated when she couldn't draw something and I told her the drawings didn't have to be perfect. Now the pefect came back to bit me. She showed me some half-attempted scribbles she called 'rainbows' and said 'but you said it didnt' have to be perfect'! when I questioned her. I agree with Chua that kids need to know you expect better of them and sometimes you have to push them a little just beyond their current abilities so they can improve. What people can't agree on is how much is too much. I was looking at Chua's eldest daughter, Sophia's blog the other day and thought she had not done too badly with her daughter-Sophia seems to be a well-adjusted kid who is accepted to go to Harvard. She had no problem with her upbringing, so why should anyone else?

"...one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.." page 62