Busy October

October was a busy month. Lara & I started our violin lessons. The first few lessons are all about postures, postions and rhythms. We learned 'rest position song', bunny rabbit bow hold, names of the violin parts and violin strings. Lara likes the rocket and chu chu train song and she can do "busy busy stop stop" on the A string & E string. We just started on the more challenging left fingers. I'm not only learning violin with Lara, I'm also learning to take smaller steps and making each practice fun. (It is very true that children like to do what they can already do).

I met some new Taiwanese friends who have kids of similar ages to Lara and Sam. We had a few sessions of park plays, I even learned how to make a delicious Taiwanese pork stew from one of the Mums. Lara learned more Chinese words because of this.

I got a phone call one day mid October from an early childhood eye test nurse (they do eye tests in daycares). She told me Lara couldn't see well with her left eye (she could only see 3 lines out of 9). That freaked me out but I later found out the result of "6/9 -3" meant she got three letters (out of 6) wrong in last line. The additional eye test confirmed Lara's eyes were fine. What a relief!

Antoher good news is that Sam's ears improved greatly in the last 2 months. His glue ears are mostly cleared. Although he's still on nose drops, specialist confirmed at the last appointment at the end of October that it's unlikely Sam would need grummets. Yeah!

I have enjoyed the last few months with both of us working part-time. I didn't have to rush home from work to pick kids up and rush to get dinner ready. Even though working part-time means less money, there is always one of us home with the kids so their lives are less hurried. The good time unfortunately has to end. With Simon going back to full time work, life will undoubtedly get busier. I also have to sort out daycares in a very short time (not something I'm looking forward to do).

November is very busy for Lara - she's got kindy orientation, 3 birthday parties and 3 ballet rehearsals. We also have a 21st party to attend. Fortunately, Mum will be here for a couple of weeks to provide some much-needed relief.

Back to work

The idea of returning to work started poping into my head shortly after the New Year, after I stopped breast-feeding (with all the brestfeeding problems I had, I really couldn't think about anything else!) and felt that my body was mine again and that life was back to its normality. What prompted this thought was partly because Sam slept through most nights and was a very good baby during the day so I had time to think about things and thought it wouldn't be too hard.

Most days, I was content and happy just be with Sam. But more and more I felt restless and yearned for something more. I felt I didn't use my time well when I had a lot of time on my hands. I felt I wasted a lot of time shopping for 'little' things (It's funny I know but I didn't really like shopping, it's not something I could happily do every day!) and doing 'unimportant' things (yes I mean housework!). It's not that housework is not important, it's just not satisfying and never finished! There is always dishes to clean, clothes to wash, floors to mop and meals to cook. I figured that if there is something else occupying my mind (ie work), I might be happier doing the housework (or it could just be wishful-thinking).

I restrained myself from calling work because I wanted to spend a little more time with Samuel. But when work called, I said "YES" without hesitation (the hesitation came later). It didn't take me too long to get daycare in place. The more days I got from daycare though, the less sure I was that I could do this. How could I get myself and the kids ready in the morning by 8am given that Sam does not actually have a routine? Would I have energy to cook and do the housework after a day's work? Also two weeks before I was due back at work, Samuel started to get up all hours at night because of teething. It created a lot of doubts as to how 'work' would fit in our family.

The first week at work didn't turn out too bad. I was very tired (so was Simon) because Sam kept getting up at night (he got up twice the night before my first day at work). I went to bed at 8pm that day absolutely exhausted and Simon picked up a lot of extra work. I was not so lucky the secoond week. Just after I had a cup of tea and tried some clients access and was happy that things worked, daycare called me (at 10 in the morning) to say Samuel had puss coming out of his ear and would I please go and get him. Yes Samuel has got ear infection and he's on antibiotics.

Thank goodness that we have the long weekend to rest and recover!

Off the breasts

It has been a month and a half now since I last had mastitis. I know I said I would stop breastfeeding but because I didn't have any problem after I finished the two courses of antibiotics, I was not seriously pursuing this 'weanin'g business... (only topup with formula from time to time) until NOW. I spent half of Friday trying to clear a lump on the right breast, thought that was it and then spent all of Saturday trying to clear a hard lump on the left breast due to blockage. At one stage, 3/4 of the breast was rock hard. I tried needle and several showers but nothing seemed to work. Sam was crying and wouldn't suck. Lara was crying and didn't want to poo in the toilet. I was crying because the breast hurt. Simon made dinner and dared not mention the fact that I spoke about weaning weeks ago. The blockage was finally cleared (by forcing a crying Sam to suck) just after midnight (early this morning).

I do not know why I kept doing this to myself! I should have weaned quickly while the time was good. I replaced a whole feed with formula this afternoon and am now focusing on getting Sam off the breasts before any more painful episode re-occur. I re-read the breastfeeding story I wrote in May 2007, though I can't help feeling I failed 'breastfeeding' again, I know it is the right thing to do.

ps I moved 2 posts of breastfeeding stories from another site to remind myself to delay no further. Unfortunately I can not locate the pictures now.

pps No wonder I had mastitis three times with Lara. I know more about my breasts and how to handle blocked ducts/lumps this time compared with last time. Breast-feeding is still the hardest aspect of parenting for me with what I know.

Waiting

It's less than two weeks now to due day. I feel a lot of Baxton-Hicks but obviously nothing happened yet. I enjoyed not working and having time to myself 3 days a week. I had a haircut, had the car cleaned and rented a baby capsule. I bought baby stuff and sorted all the baby clothes I was given (I didn't buy a single baby clothes item this time!!). I re-arranged Lara's bedroom, bought rugs and curtains and organised air-con installations. But there seems to be more things to buy and do.

Two weeks ago, I had to go to the delivery suite in the hospital to have a test done because I thought my water was leaking. It was then I realised I hadn't even packed my labour bag! We have not decided on a name either. I know I will get even less sleep and no free time once the baby arrives, but I'll be glad when the birth is out of the way.

I thought I might be induced this week, but apparently my body is not ready. In the mean time, I am still here and try to wait patiently for the new arrival.

Grow old

Parents-in-law moved into a retirement village close by three weeks ago. They have been contemplating such a move for some time as they found it harder and harder to keep their old house clean and tidy. No doubt they are also thinking ahead into the future. The move was smooth and we ended up with some of their furniture!

They are the 'young' ones in this retiremet village - average age of residents is 86. As family of the residents, we get to use some of the facilities. Lara swam a couple of times with Grand-dad in the indoor heated swimming pool. We had a meal in the dining hall and Simon played snooker.

It was a little depressing to see very old people with sticks walking around or on wheelchairs. It was also strange finding a nurse distributing drugs to the residents at dinnig tables. When I made this comment to Simon, he shrugged and said how lucky these people are to live to this old age. Indeed! Especially after the bad news we heard about next-door's son. Next door's 23-year-old son was diagnosed of stomach cancer 18 months ago. After unsuccessful chemo, his stomach was taken out a few months ago. His mum told us it's like looking after a new-born again as he needs intravenous feeding and help with everything but 'every day he remains with us is a blessing' she added.

It is not sad to get lots of wrinkles and walk with sticks if you put things into perspective. Some people never get the chance. It is indeed lucky to be able to grow old!

Lost rings found

I lost my engagement+wedding rings some time ago. The thought that I threw them away accidently while packing to move made me feel sick in my stomach. We half-expected them to turn up when we were unpacking and thought they were lost forever when they didn't show up.

I got a unexpected phone call from Carrie on Easter Friday saying that she found my rings in their holiday home in Lake Macquarie. I must have left them there last time we were there 2 years ago!!

Carrie & family came over on the weekend to return the rings and have a look at our house and we had a very lovely afternoon together. I was Carrie's bridesmaid but somehow we seemed to lose in touch with each other after the last Lake Macquarie weekend. Her son Michael and Lara spent a long time jumping on the trampoline while we chatted sitting on the grass. I feel like I have found more than the lost rings!!

Different attitudes

In our last house, the neighbour on the left side complained to me over the fence about Zeb barking. She said Zeb barked everytime they hung their clothes outside(their clothes line was right near the side fence) or used their toilet near the side fence. Her son couldn't study becaue of Zeb so the son (not her) would complain to the council if Zeb kept barking. She suggested I buy an expensive collar to stop Zeb from barking. Zeb is friendly and not a barky dog by nature but I can't say Zeb never bark(dogs by nature would bark at strangers near the house!) so I said we would keep an eye on things. We found the dog on our right side barked a lot more than Zeb and didn't find the barking excessive at all. Luckily we didn't stay in that house for very long. I bumped into this ex-neighbour a couple of weeks ago and now she complained to me about her 'new' neighbour's birds!

In our new house, the backdoor neighbour told us over the back fence that Zeb sometimes barks when she's near the fence. She asked if she could give Zeb a bone. She thought Zeb barked becaue Zeb didn't know her and she wanted to give Zeb a bone to make friends with her.

How different are the two attitudes under very similar situations? I know which neighbour I want to make friends with and which attitude I would like to possess myself. Granted that the previous neighbour probably doesn't like dogs and this new neighbour does, but this make me think about our attitudes towards things in general. How do we handle situations we want to change? Do we complain and threaten or do we think of ways we can help improving things?

Where food comes from

The book 'Animal, vegetable and miracle" I am reading now is very interesting and informative. I learned a lot about the food industry, food history and certain farm animals and plants as well as being entertained as one would expect while reading a book in her leisure time. I learned sadly about how the majority of fruit and vegetables travel hundreds of kilometers to get to the supermarkets and how thousands of plants species and many animal species are extinct because farmers only grow food that travels well or yeilds well because that's what the big supermarkets buy.

As the author of the book suggested, I now take more notice of where the fresh food comes from. For example, I can't find garlic from Australia a month ago (Harris Farm signs showed all garlics were from China or Peru). I tried not to use much garlic but ended up buying a small bulb from Peru. I also know there is no Australian grapes at the moment. I saw grapes in the local vegetable shop last week, hoping the new season's started, I asked the owner wherer it was from. He confirmed grapes are not in season and his grapes came from USA by air - transport time around 5 days. He further addded those grapes that cost less than $6 all came via the sea (took 2 months to come) and he thought they shouldn't be eaten by humans. I totally agree and do not want to eat anything that sits in a refrigerated container for that long and still looks good!

As a general rule, I try to buy ingredients coming from NSW, otherwise Australia. I order organic vegetables from time to time, and I know which state and farm they are from, but not all shops list where their food is from. I also try to buy seasonal produce then find recipes to use them rather than choose a recipe first then unable to find the ingredients or the ingredients not in season, therefore very expensive. Of course, I still buy lots of packet and canned stuff and I don't have time to read each label. But I feel that I'm taking a small first step towards having more control over what we put in our mouths.

Resolutions and old friends

Over 10 years ago, in what I would imagine a regular get-together of four high school friends, they wrote down their new year resolutions on a piece of paper. And this is what they wrote: (Names removed to protect the innocent but you know who you are!!)

Rresolutions 1995:
(1) Prepare for paino grade 8 exams.
(2) Go overseas. Pass all papers.
(3) Go to gym twice a week. Be more flirtatious. Be more tolerant and easy going. Learn stained glass.
(4) Decrease swearing. Think before speaking. Lost weight and look good in a pink dress. Be sweeter. Go overseas. Learn to drive.

These four friends finished uni and found jobs. They live in different parts of the world so they don't see one another very often. They try to keep in touch via email but they are all so busy. Then one day 10 years later(2007), one friend was tidying up her room and found the old piece of paper on which the original resolutions were written and emailed it to share with the other friends (otherwise who would remember such a trivial thing that happened so long ago?)

They decided to do this resolution thing again. This time they wrote their dreams and hopes via exchanges of emails.

Resoultions 2007:
(1)Publish at least one paper at work. Visit friend overseas. Buy a hosue. Pick up piano again.
(2) Buy a house(at a good price). Learn to cook and be a good housewife(no nagging. Work in another country. Travel(eg Europe/Beijing). Make CV look more marketable. Maybe kids. Save more.
(3) Learn to paint. More travelling locally and overseas. Keep a diary. Sell a house. Kids next year. Live in another city/country for a year.
(4) (not written down)

These email exchanges were discovered again recently. I am writting them down here for safe-keeping. How sweet are these old memories with dear old friends?

House stories

Our little unit in the city received a mention in the Sunday paper a couple of months ago to demonstrate how the first homeowner's grant was making the inner city housing market crazy. Our unit was on the market on a Monday. Agent said she would take a couple of people to see it on Wednesday night. 7 groups of people turned up, and by 9pm on Wednesday, we had 5 offers, 2 willing to pay over the advertised price. We exchanged contract on the Friday, all these happened before the first open-for-inspection. That was crazy! We felt quite sad to say good-bye. It was a long time ago, but the fond memory of walking leisurely to QVB to have afternoon tea from the unit on sunny weekends was still fresh in our minds. I guess if we have decided to sell, then it's better to have it sold quickly. This was the best result we could expect.

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Another house story Simon heard from his colleague A.

A's neighbours were getting a divorce and they couldn't decide on the settlement so they decided to sell the family home (this was early 2000, maybe 2002). The wife bought the house back at auction for $1.3M and did a minor renovation (nothing structural- just paint, new bathroom/kitchen that sort of thing). She sold it recently for nearly $2.5M! I wondered what the ex-husband think if he hears about this?

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Our home is very cold. It feels colder inside than outside, especially when the sun is out. I don't know if this is a contributing factor but despite still having 10 months lease left to go, we made an offer on a house three weeks ago. The house itself is basic and in 'original' condition but we think it has great potential. We waited patiently and for a while we thought we would be moving again. The real estate agent finally got back to us after over a week. The vendor wanted more than what we were willing to pay so... the hunt continues...

To buy or not to buy?

We didn't think we would be renting for too long after we sold our house. Three months would be enough we thought, but we had to sign a minimum 6-month lease. Since then, the extent of the global credit crisis became known. Suddenly we find ourselves unsure about what to do. Two houses we liked were sold this week, but we can't make up our mind whether to buy or not.

Will Australia go into a ression like some economists predict? Will house price keep going down? Are our jobs secure enough to service the loan? On the other hand, maybe house prices will be steady? Won't it be better to use the money we pay as rent to pay for a house anyway? Is it wise to do nothing and wait for somthing that might not happen at all?

We don't have a crystal ball and we can't predict the future. I guess all we can do now is to enjoy where we are and be patient. What will be will be.

Real estae agents

We met Lush 6 years ago when we were looking for a house to buy. Lush was friendly and courteous. He made a good impression on us and we felt sorry that we didn't buy a house from him at the end. During the last 6 years, we bumped into Lush many times in the neighborhood. He remembered our names and always appeared extremely happy to see us. His office is across the road from the train station. He would wave to us from his desk every time we walked past.

Before putting our house on the market, we invited a few agents to come and gave us market appraisals. Lush stood out as the best agent, way ahead of everyone else we had over- he was the most positive about fetching the right price for our house. The decision was easy. Lush made selling a house relatively easy and stress-free! We were really lucky to have met Lush 6 years ago!

We are again looking for a house. We enjoy going to open homes on the weekend but the same can't be said about some of the "snob" agents we met. We met an agent called 'Barbara" on the weekend, like a bad taste in the mouth, the annoying feeling lingered on all weekend. Dont' these people realise they just lost the chance of ever selling our house?

ps Lush seemed to make a great impression on Lara as well. We were at an open for inspection on the weekend. Lara said "Bye bye Lush" to the agent at the door. She knows a real estate agent when she sees one!

Grateful

I'm grateful that Hubbie took last Tuesday off to look after Lara so I could get to work to finish a piece of urgent work as I promised.
I'm grateful that Hubbie cooked a nice meal for dinner and tidied up the house before I came home that day.
I'm grateful this latest cold we (Lara and I only) have this week is quite mild compared to the previous ones.
I'm grateful that the days are getting warmer and hopefully that translates to less cold.
I'm grateful that parents-in-law have been a great help with many things lately.
I'm grateful we have an excellent real estate agent and it makes things slightly less stressful.
I'm grateful that we are very motivated to keep the house clean and tidy.
I'm grateful thing are moving along reasonably fast.

Appreciate life

Life is hectic at least 3 mornings a week when I get Lara ready for daycare (a great deal of patience is required to try to feed breakfast quickly to a kid who is not particularly interested in eating at that hour), and myself ready for work. I honestly don't have time or don't even remember to brush my hair some mornings.

The half-an-hour drive to work is my "me-time" when I think about the day ahead and contemplate life. I was particularly busy, and there were work problems I didn't know how to solve yet. I reminded myself that it is my JOB to solve these problems - if things are always OK, I would not be required at work. However, it didn't do a lot to help me feel less stressed.

One day two weeks ago, while I was thinking about things in the car, I caught myself wishing that time would pass faster and all my little work problems would go away. Then it suddenly hit me. THIS IS LIFE!! Good or bad, I only live this life once! I shouldn’t "wish my life away". I should appreciate life and all it has to offer!! Be grateful that I'm doing exactly what I wanted working 3 days a week!

This feels especially true, two weeks later, after hearing some sad news about a friend's current health situation. It was very sad and unfortunate that this had to happen at all. But looking from a different angle, it was also very lucky that the problem was discovered now rather than later. I have you in my thoughts and hope you get better soon PY.

p.s. I found when I had "gratitude" in my heart, all the little work problems seemed less important and somehow they were all solved magically as the day progressed.